Wednesday, 6 June 2012

To Victim or NOT to Victim... That is the question.

I used to tell my daughter that sometimes life is unfair.....

I don't say those words anymore...  I've realized that no contracts have been made.  By that, I mean; when we are born there is never any promise made that there would be more good than bad.   

I'm not sure about you but Personally.. I can't find any documentation that states: "Person,  if anything bad ever happens to you, you must feel  a colossal degree of dissatisfaction and angst and immediately find someone to hold responsible..... as this goes against the promissory note you were given at birth dumb  dumb!!!!!"

No one ever said that in this lifetime we will live without any heartache. We have become fools to think that we should.

The only concrete thing that is known, the day we join the league of humanity is that;  we have one single  chance to fully embrace this experience of life.

That is how being alive is unequivocally fair.  

To fully experience what it means to be alive we must have it all!  The moments of joy, the hurting things, the things that crush us and that lift us up.  We must witness the light and dark parts of humanity. We might also be preyed upon; as are most living creatures.

If we fail to understand this, we are missing the point.  Many of us will live and die having missed the point.

When we don't embrace this fact, (the fact that no one promised you a life of pure pleasure) is when we become victimized. 
To me, being a victim is like saying you want to die (metaphorically speaking). It's you..deploring how your life has been presented to you and lamenting how the choices you have made, make it so that you cannot cope.

It's not difficult to become a victim. All you have to do is say; "why me?" or blame somebody else or feel like you've somehow been shortchanged or numb yourself out to all of your feelings, hide behind a drug, avoid agony, spend your life trying to go back and revisit all of the hurtful things you've experienced.

If only you could wake up everyday and give thanks for life and I mean ALL of it. "Thank you for the beauty of it all, thank you for the pain I receive, thank you for allowing me to make this journey".  To dissolve the illusion that pain is not a perfectly acceptable part of life is to open up your soul to the bounty you have received. 

There are choices.

We could treat every arduous moment in life like the crack of a whip, enslaving us and bleeding us out.

or

We could treat every arduous moment in life like an opportunity for evolution....
As all creatures evolve only because things get tough.  

Saturday, 2 June 2012

The woman people pray for

On Wednesday May 30, 9:10pm a body was shattered....


Thats how it started; as Aaron Paquette intimated about his wife Clarice and the life threatening accident she was involved in that day. An incident that left her body crushed and her loved ones stricken.   I haven't met Aaron; although I know Clarice, we are friends from back before careers, husbands and children. From times of nights out, sunday brunches and girls hiking weekends.


In fact, I haven't seen Clarice in years. Our relationship has been a voyeuristic one, as I've peered into her life through Facebook; watching the evolution of her relationship with Aaron. Laughing as he frequently hacked her Facebook account to write endearing status updates about himself. Looking at photos of their wedding, thinking to myself what a perfect match they made and how she looks the exact same as she did back then. Then the birth of a beautiful son; Liam and how their little family was so lovely.  


My Facebook voyeurism took a darker turn Thursday morning as a mutual friend texted me to inform me that Clarice had been involved in accident. I went to my computer and stared at the screen in shock, my stomach tightening as I observed the image Aaron had shared, along with his eloquent testimonial of their family's heart-wrenching experience. He asked  us to share it so others could learn from it..... and then it began... the onslaught of messages, the prayers, the words.  People from all over the world sending their love and hope and feeling just as I did about all of it.


I'm sharing this now, because I don't know what else to do.  I can write; so I will... and let you get closer (by a fraction) to the woman people have been praying for. There are people out there who could give you more, but this is all I have.


As I know her; Clarice is vibrant, she has a wide, radiant smile and is naturally very funny. She is a strong runner and has a killer set of legs. She loves to read. She is a mother, daughter, sister, aunt, bride and friend.  She has a wonderful family that she is very close to and I can't imagine how their hearts have been breaking.  She is tough, brave, would stand up for anyone she cared for, even if all she had as a weapon was a shoe (inside joke) and she was usually late for things.. haha. 
I'm sure from the point we left off she has evolved into an amazing woman, mother, wife and teacher.  It seems to me she has found an amazing partner in Aaron who has proven through his messages; how loving, brave and empathic he is. I was astounded as I read through some of the postings people had contributed to his page to find what I thought to be, a somewhat judgmental and hurtful message thread.   I was then quickly humbled by his remarkable response; thanking the author for presenting a different opinion.  Proving; along with all of his other compassionate messages that his soul is that of a truly dignified man.


My heart goes out to all involved in this incident in some way; including Clarice's friend who witnessed this traumatizing event. As well as the drivers (who will have their own personal anguishes to contend with) it could have been any of us on a day that we fail to be vigilant. To the witnesses and of course to all friends and family.


With Love



Here is a link to Aarons Facebook page where you can read the whole story and be part of this astounding experience.  
On Wednesday May 30, 9:10pm a body was shattered.


The family has also set up a donation page. (click the link below to see this lovely family and donate)
If you read more you will understand why this is necessary. Please help if you can and if you can't caring, sharing and praying is plenty!
http://www.aaronpaquette.net/?page_id=924www.aaronpaquette.net



Clarice Cardinal Anderson  Second from left









Clarice, second from left.








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